Kinks and fetishes are something that every person has. Some have it out on their face and some have it subdued within their soul. Irrespective of which part you fall in, the one thing that I would suggest you do is talk about your kinks with your partner. But, how would you do that? That is one of the biggest questions that everyone struggles with. But, don’t worry, there are a few important ways that can help you with that.
Calm down and collect your thoughts
Before you are going to spill the beans about your kinks to your partner, you need to be calm about the situation. The last thing that you want is to blabber out things of your mouth without thinking twice. The best way to present your thoughts to your partner is by ensuring that you have a mental note of the things you want to say. If you have a bad history of opening up about your kinks to a partner, only to be faced with disgust, you want to take your time this time around.
Give them a scenario
When you are telling your partner about your kinks, the one thing that you want to do is give them a picture of what they can expect out of it. Tell them about the pros and cons and the sexiest part of exploring those kinks. You need to unravel things and put it out in front of them to let them know why you like this so much. When they have a perspective and a visual of it, it becomes a lot easier for them to understand.
Often, when you tell your partner about your kinks and fetishes, it is likely for them to think that you don’t like what you do now in bed. Correct them that is not the case. Tell them that you do enjoy what you do in bed right now. It is just that you like to spice things up even more. Being clear about your expectations is one of the best ways to tackle this. You can tell them that you wanted to share the secrets that drive you wild in bed.
Slow and steady
When you are trying to unleash your inner kinks and fetishes to your partner, you want to be slow in the process. The last thing you want to do is end up scaring them away. That is not how things work out. If your partner is completely new to this, it is likely that they will be scared with the thought of it. Instead of going out full blown with the scenario, lay it down easy for them. Let them take the time to understand and analyse things better and then you can explain what or how you like things. You can also tell them why you like these kinds and fantasise about them. Improvise but be slow with the process too.
Be open to answer
When you are talking about your kinks with your partner, unless your partner is also into such stuff, it is likely that they wouldn’t know what you are talking about. In such cases, you need to be very open about answering their questions and queries. It is extremely important to ensure that you have answers ready about the questions that your partner has for you. Don’t be shy. If you don’t answer and your partner isn’t aware of your likes and dislikes, it will become harder for them to manage through. So, be patient instead.
If you are opening up about your kinks, it is likely that your partner might talk about theirs too. It is extremely important that you are open about things with them. The last thing that you want is for your partner to feel invalidated about them kinks. Be open and accepting about their expectations too. That is very important and something that you would want to look through. It doesn’t take a lot. Just be attentive about what your partner has been saying.
Kinks and fetishes are valid and you need to know that. If your partner is accepting, it is likely that they will appreciate your thoughts and values. Make sure that you make them understand what you feel and why you feel it. If your partner is not understanding, give them some time to do their own research and understand things at their pace.
By Somapika Dutta